I began to watch this a little while ago. I noticed, it has really great coloration, the mood is so genuine and so engaging, it’s so very sweet, but still left a lot to be answered.
I had a friend named Lila once, and this girl reminds me of her. She is quirky, cute, funny, and so very innocent in so many ways. Well, I lost that friendship last year after my motorcycle wreck. Things were already hard enough to mount that on top of the stack that weighed so heavily. It was because of my anger, my bitterness, and because of a moment when I again wanted to blame someone and disdained myself. I regret loosing her in my life, and I hope to one day be able to speak to her again.
The Lila in this short, is so very similar to the one I knew. I think that what attracts us as people to others often times is the parts we see in them that we identify with, seeing those qualities in ourselves. Either that, or we see qualities in them that we want to identify with, we often see someone we want to be. This has happened to me quite a lot recently, both the first and the latter; I see so much of who I used to be in others as well as seeing parts of who I want to be.
As I watched this, I remembered who I was as a child growing up. I remembered the kid in my Facebook profile picture that is laughing with my little brother. I remember being bright eyed and always a dreamer. I wanted “to be nice to everyone and have everyone be my friend!” in such a naive way. I saw everything as wondrous and amazing. Everything in life carried so much beauty in spite of all the chaos that whirled around me day in and day out. I didn’t care about the fights, or the beatings, or the bullying, or the embarrassment or torment I lived out in those many moments. Somehow, I was able to block out the real world. I painted a picture over everything I saw, seeing the world as it could be, as it would exist in a perfect world display of wonder, beauty, peace, joy, and so much more. Love is a word that strikes me with a thunderous blast of an explosive vision. Love….is what I saw. I saw light, and splendor within everything around me. The sad part, was that not everyone got to see that world the way I did. My sister and little brother saw that world with me in many moments. I used to stay up late with them as I would look around the room for tokens to steal for the epic bedtime story I was creating as shot the little gears in my mind at a million miles an hour. I was completely making it up as told the bedtime epic.
These are the moments I live for…a moment of clarity, realization, recollection, a reconnecting to the child I once was. I miss my little brother, I miss my friend Lila, I miss my family from which I’ve been running from for 19 years for wanting to escape the real life canvas I didn’t have enough imaginary paint to cover. I live for the moments of growth, and advancement, the moments where I have an opportunity to take a step forward and look around me as I do, all the while enjoying the journey. Then I get to tell someone….why??? For the same reason I tell every story, whether on film, digital format, or script……because I must, it’s what I was made to do, it’s my design.
I watched this and cried as I rediscovered within my own heart a soft place that exists that I tried to bury in a pile of pain. Well, here’s to painting a different picture and holding it in the place it belongs, where it will touch a life and create a loving change.
Ignite a Fire